This wasn’t an anonymous one-liner on an online dating profile.
It wasn’t a bunch of guys yelling at me at me from a moving vehicle while I was jogging.
This was a bit of, shall we say, ‘creative marketing’ that a male personal trainer at my gym greeted me with as I checked in for a group class the other day. To be honest, I was discombobulated and laughed it off at first. Twenty minutes later, I was still bothered and uncomfortable by the guy’s demeanor and wording so I took the time to tell the floor manager about it. It was fine–the manager apologized and said they’d speak to the guy about it. Over and done with in my mind.
But psyching myself up to say something about it was just as uncomfortable as having him talk to me that way initially. I think it’s worth emphasizing that it’s okay to sit on things until you feel comfortable making a statement. That can mean a lot of different things–like talking to a person in charge, giving feedback in a survey, making a call, or seeking assistance from emergency personnel.
It’s also disconcerting to realize that just in writing this post I had to go back through and delete a lot of qualifiers, such as how personal trainers need to be personable and friendly, or how that guy was pretty young. I’m incrementally learning how to advocate for myself across a continuum of social situations, and part of that includes learning not to minimize my own instincts.
It boils down to being professional and respecting women as people–and it’s really not hard to do. You know what I wish he’d said to me?
I see you here all the time. What are your fitness goals?