Super awesome split pea-(potato)-garlic soup

It starts with a bag of potatoes. Now, if you go to the store you can buy a cute little bag of pre-washed, perfectly sized organic golden-whatsit potatoes that are perfect for one person, but they’re expensive okay? So I buy the economy sized, reasonably priced bag of russet potatoes.

And then comes the countdown of whether I can eat them all before they go bad…


So there’s a bag of potatoes staring at me with eyes that are starting to freaking grow and I need to go ahead and use them, but I don’t actually want want potato anything. And thus came the criteria for this meal:

1. Use other ingredients that will disguise the potatoes

2. Create the the fewest number of dishes to wash possible

3. Expend minimal effort and attention  when making this dish

I realize that real recipes can give you great results every time, but I look those things more like guidelines anyhow, so use the following as inspiration, not the gospel, alrighty?

You will need:

A crockpot


Dried split peas




Lawry’s Seasoned Salt (or equivalent)

Bacon grease (technically optional, but makes the soup exponentially better)

Fresh garlic (optional, but you’re super lame if you skip this ingredient)

Pine nuts (optional. What? They were in the cupboard)

Coconut milk (optional)

Sesame seeds (optional)

I dumped about 1.5 cups of peas into the crockpot, followed by cubed potatoes until the crock pot was roughly ⅓rd full, as well as two cloves of finely minced fresh garlic.  Next, I added a couple of spoonfuls of bacon grease, BECAUSE I CAN. I bought sesame seeds a while back and never figured out how to really use them, so I added a handful for texture, and a handful of pine nuts, because pine nuts make everything better.

Add water and coconut milk in equal amounts until all those ingredients are completely covered, and then some. It all cooks down so no need to panic.

Dump in salt/pepper/Lawry’s salt to taste, turn the crockpot on high, and leave it alone (stirring occasionally) for a few hours or until you remember it’s cooking. At first the garlic will smell overwhelming, but don’t stress. It really mellows out over time, and just adds a pleasant undertone when it’s done. If you like spicy things, be brave with the pepper shaker and go to town! The soup is finished cooking if the potatoes are no longer crunchy when you taste test. I cooked it until they were a bit mushy, so that the consistency of the soup was more creamy/stew like. I’m using this as the main dish for a meal, and all together it makes around 5-7 servings.

Let’s rate this thing, shall we?

Overall deliciousity out of ten: 10


Dishes used: 3


Cutting board


Difficulty level: 2

Fine motor control required

Sharp implements are used

Time spent actively cooking: 15 minutes

Score: 20


One response to “Super awesome split pea-(potato)-garlic soup

  1. Pure awesomeness! You are FUNNY! (and I like the *ahem* recipe)

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